The Gallant Farce
by iloveromance
Summary: Arnold is heartbroken when he finds out that his reason for proposing to Rosalie was all a big joke. (Episode: "Who Dunnitt?")


He never expected it to happen, but it did. Rosalie Tozie (better known as Hotzie Totzie around James Buchanan High School) stood up in front of the class and blurted it out.

"I'm pregnant! And one of you is responsible!"

For a moment, Arnold and the other Sweathogs could only stand and stare at Rosalie in disbelief. After all, each of them; Arnold, Freddie, Vinnie and Epstein had gone out with Rosalie. And each of them had a story to tel. That is all, except for Arnold. Sure, he and Rosalie had a great time on their date. The taxi ride, although unplanned, was especially fun. But riding in a taxi couldn't have possibly caused her pregnancy.

Freddie was the first to run out of the room, saying that he had a train to catch. Epstein was next, followed by Vinnie, who turned and said "See you in church, Mr. Kotter."

But Arnold stayed behind. The other guys might have been cowards-and perhaps Arnold was the biggest coward of all-but he couldn't just stand there looking at

Rosalie in her condition and do nothing. Slowly he stood and walked over to where she was standing near the window.

"Rosalie, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure. Shoot."

He gestured for her to sit at the desk and smiled when she did as he asked.

"Rosalie, are you busy on Saturday?"

She looked at him like he was crazy. "Why?"

He lowered himself to one knee. "You wanna get married?"

She scoffed. "Why would I want to do that for?"

"Well, because I want to make you honest. And I want to give your baby a name."

"That's really sweet, Arnold. But I want to marry the father of my baby."

Heartbroken, Arnold looked down at the floor. "Oh… okay."

Not to be deterred, he grinned. "Well you think about it, all right?"

"I will."

Elated at the vague possibility that she might accept his proposal, Arnold ran out of the room.

The next day, Mr. Kotter kept all of the boys after class. He demanded to know which of them had gotten Rosalie pregnant. But of course not one of them would confess. And instead they unanimously elected Arnold as the father.

Arnold felt a rush of pride as he stood and took a bow. "Thank you for voting for me!"

But Mr. Kotter wasn't at all impressed. "Guys, this is ridiculous! You can't just elect someone to be the father! Now one of you got Rosalie pregnant and I want to know who it is right now!"

Again when no one said a word, Mr. Kotter looked like he would blow his top. "All right, fine! I'm letting the girls come back into the room." When he opened the door, Rosalie and her friends practically fell into the classroom.

Mr. Kotter looked her straight in the eye. "Rosalie, I want you to name the father. Right this instant!"

"Mr. Kotter-."  
To the Sweathogs he said. "Guys, I want you to line up over there."  
Vinnie and the others reluctantly rose from their desks and complained all the way to the other side of the room. But they did as they were told.

"Come on, Rosalie." Mr. Kotter continued. "I don't have all day!"  
Rosalie was surprisingly calm and walked past Arnold and the guys looking at them as though she was picking a criminal out of a lineup.

"So, you all denied it, huh?"

"Oh, they denied it, all right!" Mr. Kotter said. "You wouldn't believe how much they denied it!"

"That figures." She scoffed. "Well, if they all said nothing happened, then I guess nothing happened."

"Rosalie what are you saying?"

She smiled at Mr. Kotter. "I guess I'm not pregnant."

"WHAT?" All the guys yelled in unison.

"Huh?" Was Mr. Kotter's reaction.

"How can you not be pregnant?" Arnold wanted to know. "You told us all that you were!"

"Well, Arnold, I tell a lot of people a lot of things."

"WHY, ROSALIE?" Mr. Kotter yelled. "WHY DID YOU SAY THAT YOU WERE PREGNANT?"

"To teach these guys a lesson! Do you know what it's like to go through life with the name Hotzie Totzie and having everyone think that I'm easy? Well, now you know, I'm not easy!"

"So you're not pregnant." Arnold asked.

"No, Arnold, I'm not pregnant! How many times do I have to say it?"

"I think you've said more than enough, Rosalie." Mr. Kotter said.

"It was just a joke." Rosalie continued.

Dejected, Arnold began to walk out of the room. "Oh…" But Rosalie grabbed the sleeve of his army green jacket to get his attention. He whirled around to face her.

"Yeah?"  
"Look, do you want to go out on Saturday? We don't have to get married or anything. We can just-."

"No, Rosalie."

She looked taken aback. "What?"

He glanced at Mr. Kotter and then at Rosalie, back at Mr. Kotter and then at Rosalie again. "I said no."

"Why not?"

"Because you lied. You lied to me, you lied to Mr. Kotter and you lied to my friends. And I don't wanna go out with a liar, Rosalie Totzie. I don't ever wanna go out with you again."

He turned and walked out of the classroom. In the hallway, he found himself alone and he slumped onto the bench by the lockers. The door to classroom #11 opened and Rosalie stormed out. As Arnold expected, she completely ignored him. But when the door opened again, Mr. Kotter came out. He went straight for Arnold.

"Arnold, can I talk to you?"

Arnold moved over to allow Mr. Kotter to join him on the bench. "I know what you're going to say, Mr. Kotter so go ahead and say it."

"Do you?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm going to say it anyway. Arnold, I'm proud of you."

Arnold looked up in surprise. "You are?"

Mr. Kotter smiled. "You didn't know I was going to say that, did you?"

"No, not at all."

"Well it's true, Arnold. I am proud of you. I saw what you tried to do for Rosalie and it was very gallant."

"It was?"

"You took the initiative and thought about someone else other than yourself. That's a huge step toward becoming an adult. Did you see Vinnie or any of those other guys do that? No. And do you know why? Because they're not brave like you."

Arnold shook his head. "It didn't do any good. She wasn't even pregnant. She was lying!"

"That's another reason that I'm proud of you."

"Why? Because I believed her?"

"No, because you spoke up for yourself. You didn't let her walk all over you."

"Right."

Kotter laughed and nudged him. "Right. And you know what, Arnold? I think you're going to be a great husband to a lucky girl someday."

"You really think so?"

"I know so."

Arnold grinned from ear to ear. "Gee, thanks, Mr. Kotter."

"You're welcome. Now you'd better get to your next class. And if they give you any grief about being late, just tell them to come see me, all right?"

"Okay, thank you, Mr. Kotter."

"You're welcome, Arnold."

Arnold walked to his next class with a smile on his face. He could hardly wait to meet his future wife.

THE END


End file.
